SwimRun Lake James

Well, we did it. Team The Local Noobs finished SwimRun Lake James with huge smiles and interesting tan lines.  It was quite the experience from start to finish - with training taking me 16+ weeks and ending with this marvelous race. I'm not sure where to start with this blog and need to just type - I can erase / add / subtract as I move along... but there is just so much to tell you.  

I woke up about 4:15 on Saturday April 23rd ready to motivate. I had a cup of black coffee and watched a little TV while I tried to get in the right zone. I had laid out my gear the night before and had bags ready to take to the car for the race.  I made myself a breakfast of eggs, some protein, and a small bit of toast - but could barely eat.  I did consume a banana on the way, but my nerves were messing with me.  I left the house about 6:30 and headed toward the lake. Our goal was to be there at around 7:00 and I showed up about 7 minutes early as per usual.  Thomas arrived right after and was parked about 5 cars from me in the lot.  I actually pulled in beside the famous "Marcus Barton" who is Mr. SwimRun. He's a super laid-back, funny, and just a friendly and nice guy - who has more SwimRun knowledge in his pinky finger than I have in my entire body - but I digress.  He has welcomed us graciously into the sport - and I just love his friend group. 

Everyone was getting dressed, spraying each other with TriGlide, and laughing in the parking lot. I initially put my wetsuit shorts on inside out and realized I had no pockets so had to strip them down and try again.  I actually wore a sports bra, Tyr swimsuit, and my Orca SwimRun wetsuit for the race, and did not feel over or under dressed. In fact it was perfect! Weather was warm, starting temperature of 50ish degrees and supposed to warm up to about 82. Water temperature was projected at 61-64 degrees, which was welcomed as we had acclimated in water 51-57 for weeks! (Swimming in 51* is effing cold y'all, honestly like nothing I have ever experienced.)

The race basically started without a hitch and Thomas and I settled into an easy pace for the first mile. We left out of Fonta Flora and ran the Over Mountain Victory Trail toward Paddy's Creek. We entered the lake, from the bridge - not the trail, and had to traverse down a slightly steep little bank to jump into the creek for our first swim.  Thomas pulled the first swim, which was 800 yards  -  with the sun in our face and not being able to sight our first swim exit I initially thought "omg, this is going to be awful" (obviously our luck improved).  During this time, I pulled my buoy from it's mount, cursed loudly into the sky, and we both just laughed.  I then spied the exit and we were on our way!  I recall scrambling up the bank onto run two and just pulling myself together - it was going to make sense eventually and then it kind of clicked.  A short run, short swim, short run section helped. Then we had a beautiful medium swim from the State Park beach toward Canal Bridge.  As we exited the swim, I saw a rope hanging from a tree and people climbing up the side of a "mountain" to get to this next run. I remember being petrified but got myself up the rope, climbed a giant hill, and I was on fire.  The next bit was running along a short trail and coming across another rope section over a creek - then scrambling back down a hill into a short and fast swim to the long run. 

During the long run, I opted for walking as much as needed, because we had hit the first cutoff in plenty of time. I did not want to wear myself out on the long run which was supposedly 7.7 miles, but measured 8.2 for us, and for others as well. Even Strava segmented it at 8.08 miles.  During the long run, Thomas and I talked about things as we always do on our long runs, met other competitors, and speculated when the run would be done. It was a tough run. I expected it to be more flat - and it had some moderate climbing and nearly a mile of bushwhacking before the "long swim." 

Not surprisingly, the "long swim" was my favorite part of the race. Well, it started the best parts of the race for me. We made good time in the 1600 yards from the Long Arm to our first island experience. During this part of the race, we hopped across islands, by climbing, traversing, sliding down on our butts, swimming to the next island and doing it all over again. It was so much fun, so empowering, and really where I saw what a strong team Thomas and I had become in all this training. You see, in SwimRun the main purpose of the race is team bonding and adventure - and I could see we were both just crazy as hell and working together to get around Lake James. 

I will say I stumbled on a root on the first island and had a Charley Horse. The lady of the island (volunteer) offered me an ice pack but I told her I just needed it to go away; so we worked on massaging it out and quickly getting back on our feet to get back in the water on the other side of the island. I think I hadn't had enough hydration from the long run / long swim combo (about 2.5 hours of work) so Thomas gave me a gel and I felt almost immediately better.  (By the way, that was the nastiest tasting gel ever, and since Thomas is like my brother, in my head I think he did it on purpose! Haha!)

Throughout the next few sections we island hopped for what seemed like an eternity, but it was so much fun! At some point we showed up on an island that looked familiar, this was the Long Arm again and where we had a 1.2  mile run or so before another swim. We worked our way to an aid station who told us we had a few more sections and then the last run back in.  The next swim was a longer swim, and I was so ready for it. Unfortunately, the swim was not ready for me. That 1300 yard swim felt like it took me longer than the 1600 yard swim, in fact, I'm pretty sure we were swimming in the same place for bits and pieces of it - as Nebo Fire Department and McDowell County Sheriff watched over us in a boat and we had a pilot to our other side. I sighted the buoys, but could not sight the shore flag and that was messing with my head. But we persevered. At this point I was cold and tired, and I felt like this swim would never end - but in a weird way, I was also so happy! 

As we climbed out of the 1300 yard swim, I heard tons of cheering from the boaters and had to laugh a little. We started a little more island hopping before coming to a very familiar place - our boat ramp where we open water swim from in the summer. At that point I knew there was exactly 2.3 miles left in the race.  As I approached the boat ramp, I felt a slight tugging at my sock and turned around to see a small water snake hissing at me. I told him not to bite me, I had only 2.3 miles left. Silly snake! 

The last 2.3 miles is really a blur. We just kept going. I recall talking to a child about a stick, laughing about stupid things, and seeing a dog in a backpack.  We also briefly greeted a snake and ran our way in.  As I saw the finish line, the biggest smile crossed my face... It was real, it was done, and all our new friends, my family, and spectators were waiting to greet us! In fact, several SwimRunners got together and formed a bridge for us to run under. I became so overwhelmed, I started to hyperventilate, but held it together.  My mom said later it looked as though I was going to cry - I replied "yes, I remember - but I was too dehydrated to form tears at that point!" 

What an incredible, yet crazy tough experience; a race to really see what you are made of! Thomas had 22 miles total on his Garmin and I had 21, so either way, we moved some distance from roughly 19-22 miles of swimming and running! 

Here's the thing, I've never been a fast runner, and it's been years since I've competitively swam.  But this is something I wanted so badly, I was ready to put in the work. I trained consistently, I did my fast runs, easy runs, long runs, long swims, technique swims, fast swims, and swim/run workouts. I listened to my partner. I read a ton of literature. I lived SwimRun for months. I bought a special wetsuit, I bought a special pull buoy, I tried new shoes and loved them. I worked hard and trusted the process. My message to you is to  find something that brings you such passion, such joy, and such life that you can't sleep thinking about it... it's why we are here! And you'll never regret finishing! I promise - although admittedly, nearly a month after finishing it all, I miss it. I'd do it all again in a heartbeat! 

Training Again

 

Yesterday I completed an amazing trail run, that just felt stronger than ever for some reason. You see, I’m not new to running, I just have taken some time off to work on recovery and to heal. And while I didn’t realize that’s what I was doing, looking back, it all makes sense. 

Years ago, I was as addicted to running as I was to alcohol. While I was a tremendous athlete, I was a confused person. I did amazing things, but was held back and crippled by a desire to drink and filled non-drinking times with tons of running. I held on to toxic relationships and was a toxic person myself. I owe amends to a few folks - as I’ve grown astronomically since surrendering and becoming sober. 

But yesterday’s run was the run I needed to believe that I’m recovering quite well - that I’m strong - and I’m finally at peace with the old part of my life. Taking time to only swim, helped me rediscover passion, a desire to train, and form friendships that are healthy and vibrant. As I merge swimming and running together, I breathe deep, trust the process, and take one step at a time. I’m very excited. 

Currently I am training for a SwimRun with my friend Thomas.  I have wanted to do a SwimRun for a few years, since it became an event at Lake James - but I never had a partner. I always could find someone to run with, but I could never find someone who would swim that far.  

                                                                

 It's an endurance even in which you run and swim along a set course of cross country/trail runs and open water swims without stopping in between.  So in essence you may run a bit, jump in the water (lake in our case), swim a certain distance, jump out and run a certain distance, and repeat.  Our event is 19 miles total - with 15 off and on ran and 4 off and on swam. 

My friend, Thomas is an IRONMAN.  He completed IRONMAN Florida in November and needed something to train for.  As an endurance swimmer and okayish runner (former endurance runner) - I told him about this event.  Although there was a short course solo option, we opted to team up and do the full course. 

So training started this week.  

My swims felt good / as I am a strong swimmer and love to swim... 

 1) with the first swim being a distance pull

2) swim 2 being technique

3) and the third swim being speed work

Runs also felt good, as the weather was great. Cold and dry! 

1)  Run one was a tempo run

2) Run two was solid and fast

3) Run three was a walk run combo 

4) Run four was long slow distance on the trails 

I felt good in week one.  Today is a rest day, so I did a three mile walk and then just chilled around the house. I have thought tons about how great my last run went and how excited I am. I know there will be ups and downs with this training, but I am willing to trust the process and always have fun.  I believe in myself and look forward to tremendous growth throughout the next few weeks. 

Growing through Recovery

With my sober birthday being July 5, 2019 - that means, on January 5, 2022 I'll be celebrating 2.5 years. While that may not seem like much, it's been a very challenging, but rewarding time for me.  And 2.5 I am so proud of.  See, I've changed over this 2.5 years; I've shifted and grown, and yet I have watched so much stay stagnant.  

When I decided in July of 2019 to not drink, it was just a challenge for me... Dry July was what it was called, yet I waited until after the 4th, because that's how addicted I was. I'm extremely goal oriented and challenge driven, so taking 30 days off to support a friend, would be fun for me. I had tried numerous times to quit, and sometimes could make it 15 days or so, but ultimately always found myself with a drink because this or that "miffed" me.  But, Dry July felt different.  Then Dry July turned into, let's go 6 weeks, and then my first holidays arrived without alcohol, and by early 2020, I was used to my new sobriety.  In March of 2020, Covid-19 forced shutdowns in the USA - which was horrifying  after watching the rest of the world in tremendous shock and terrible sadness. I never thought this pandemic would change me so much - and here I am in a brand new world, without drinking. 

I've struggled during the pandemic, because I believe in hope, the greater good of mankind, and love.  Without losing anyone over politics or personal opinion; I'm a strong believer and supporter of science, think everyone should wear a mask, and have strongly stood behind both vaccines and the booster.  Going through sobriety during such a contentious time, in this world, has been extremely difficult - because life alone has been difficult. 

I have never felt so lonely - as I do now; and certainly some of it is pandemic related, as I stay as close to home as possible - with the exception of going to work, and showing up on deck (because I trust the mitigation efforts of my pool) - but that being said, some of my isolation has been due to my sobriety.  When you are going through recovery, it's not recommended to go at it alone; but it is recommended to move away from things that remind you of drinking.  For me, it is toxic relationships. I honestly struggle talking about my former job, in any capacity, because it was part of my problem. Days were hard, the work was heavy - and while half of my colleagues were supportive family; the other half were the dysfunctional part of the family.  I drank heavily while I worked there - always after hours.  Coming home exhausted - ready to drink wine and just chill.  I do not remember many evenings during that time in my life; I was going through too much. But, I did start my sobriety there - shared my story with a few colleagues, and this really changed my life and trajectory. While two friends were super supportive, others said things to me that left me confused and ashamed. I ended up leaving and I have not looked back.  I do have two good friends who are still there, and I ask them to not talk "work" with me.  While part of it is pain - to be honest, reminiscing about former "work" is not fruitful toward my growth.  

After my experience sharing my sobriety with select "friends" at work, with limited support; I opted to go silent. I decided not to share. I was so ashamed. I vacillated back and forth with whether I even had a an alcohol problem and questioned whether or not I was just being dramatic.  It took me at least a year, to move forward from my life there and grow as a sober individual.  After my first year, I was still struggling - that's when I left work to try new things.  By 18 months sober, my entire life had changed. I was moving and shaking. I had a new job; one that was filled with fun, joy, and excitement. I was training hard for a swim event, and I spent most of my time working on me.  

By year two, I was sharing my story openly with my mother, father, and a few friends. I even started posting about it on Instagram and gained a whole host of new followers using hashtags such as #soberissexy, #soberAF, and #soberathlete.  There are still folks, I refuse to talk about this with, they can decide if they want to read this or not.  But some people just know one side of me and that's okay.  I've been grateful to share this journey with a few people who really matter and genuinely support me, understand me, and would never stigmatize alcoholism.  

As of late, I've suffered tremendously in building back relationships and trying to find new friends who get me. Obviously, a global pandemic throws a kink in it all; but I need people who get me one hundred percent. I need more sober friends in my life - who have hit rock bottom and now are in recovery.  I do not think you can understand that, until you are in my shoes... because all people in recovery share this same feeling; but others who have not gone through this, just cannot understand the importance.  Sure, I could talk with someone who has never drank - but we will never share the commonality of drinking.  And I could talk with someone who imbibes, but unfortunately they'll never understand my struggles. So, one day at a time, I try to figure out how to decrease loneliness and I feel a little more at ease.  That's all I can do... and my greatest gift, is an ability and desire to share this with others, so they can grow with me. 

Finding a "why" - Swimming Edition

I've swam my entire life - and we could end the post right there... but I guess I should tell my story. Maybe it'll inspire someone, maybe it won't; maybe it'll encourage someone not to quit, make someone smile, or just help someone pass some time during Covid-19 restrictions.  

In August of 2020, I was welcomed into the My Swim Pro Ambassador squad. I kind of had to pinch myself; it was a "why me?" scenario.  I mean the team has people going to the Olympics, people breaking records in swimming, people who have lost tons of weight swimming, people who have faced tremendous diversity, and then there's Carly.  I'm just a girl, in the southern part of the USA, who swims.  I'm a mom, I enjoy my career, and I run a lot. I also like pizza. That's about it. Joining a group of swimmers like this, was inspiring - but it's put me through tons of soul searching. My biggest hero in the group is such a light and will be on the US Paralympic Team - she is constantly helping others manifest greatness and has brought me to tears finding greatness in my self - through all the dark and scary to the light and beautiful... and my other hero in the group embraces who she is, with such power, that I just find her magnifying. I have to watch her stories on Instagram several times in a row, and seem more like her stalker than her friend - but it'll be okay. 

So gulp... this is my story.  

I started swimming at age 5. My mother got me involved with the local aquatic center, after I went to the bottom of the pool at a pool party and didn't come back up.  Swim lessons, led to swim team, which led to age group wins, medals, Junior Olympic qualifying times, 2-a-day workouts, elite team practice, diving teams, technique camps, the gamut - swimming was my life.  I was my team's breaststroker. I owned that stroke - each graceful pull was powered by a strong whip kick - and I slept, ate, and lived breaststroke.  I enjoyed my early years on swim team, but stayed on the team to make my parents happy. I wanted to be the best, hold myself to the highest level, and just see them smile when I finished first in my heat and then podiumed.  And although I should have fond memories of swimming as a child, I honestly remember the times I tried to please others more than trying to find my own happiness.

As I aged up, swimming became harder. I was still a good swimmer, but I was not training like I had in the past and had lost desire to chase qualifying times and just wanted to swim at the high school level.  The high school swim team was so different. Some of the team could not even swim, some could not dive, and many had never put on a competition suit.  My coach had confidence I could lead the team in the 500 freestyle.  And although I had spent my last 10 years of my young life training, swimming, and living at the pool - the thought of swimming 50 free, terrified me, much less 500 yards.  I showed up though, at the meet, dove off the block and swam 500 free.  I wanted to make my coach happy.  I was mortified to come in at the back of the heat -  and I really had a bad year on the team after that.

I decided to scale back at age 16 and try other things. I figured my swimming would never bring anyone happiness, as I was a has-been.  I remember feeling deeply saddened I was not who I once was - and struggled after I had stopped swimming.  My family had moved overseas anyhow and I needed to just be a teenager. Over the next few years, I made friends, had fun, partied, tried different sports, and just lived a lot. My dad and I rode our bikes a lot around our city, and near by towns.  I also got interested in running during that time and just seeing the world on foot. 

Running brought me tremendous joy, tons of friendship, and allowed me to see some beautiful places.  Unfortunately, I stayed injured and had to rehabilitate in the pool. I came back to swimming several times over my years of running, but eventually decided it had to be a consistent part of my training plan. During this time in my life I was married, working, and starting to have kids - so some days it just felt good to be in a pool.  Being back at the pool meant I met a whole host of new people -  swim coaches, triathletes, cross fitters, and some guys training to be Navy SEALs. It gave me the opportunity to swim with others again.  I showed up consistently and became decent at swimming again.  I did a few sprint triathlons, and was a swimmer on a few triathlon teams. Still yet, I wasn't happy. Just kind of doing what I thought was necessary to stay in shape.  Eventually I found a friend who helped me find a whole new world, and changed everything for me. 

During this time, I found an adult swim team, that was essentially just about five of us who swam together.  They eventually became part of a Masters Team - and that's when I moved in another direction. But that's a whole other beautiful story.  I digress, the leader of the adult swim team, Ed, and I swam together a lot.  Ed seemed more like a father to me at times, my wonderful pool dad.  Ed helped me realize I had huge dreams, I could progress in swimming even as I got older, and introduced me one summer to open water swimming.  And the rest is history. 

The first time I swam in a lake, it brought back that terror of that 500 free back in my teen years.  We swam about 500-800 yards between several docks until we hit a mile. It was like nothing I had ever experienced.  The water was cool and dark. I couldn't see or spot, and no one was above me critiquing each kick, each pull, and each breath.  I thought about that swim the rest of the summer.  The next year, Ed and I went back, but to another lake. We met about once a week and did 1-2 miles in the lake.  But it wasn't enough.  I had researched during this time and had interest in swimming 2.4 miles, I knew I'd need more practice in a lake and that's when I enlisted my husband and father to be my pilots in the kayak.  Over the next couple of years, I perfected my art of open water swimming,  I trained like an athlete again, I swam with passion,  I felt beautiful and strong - and I was finally happy.  Endurance swimming became my thing, and I ended up preferring swimming 10Ks in our lake,  to very short distance.  I was no longer in a position to make others happy, I was finding my own happiness and seeing how I was designed to be an open water swimmer. 

You see, I've never been a small girl.  I'm tall, I am big-boned, I have strong legs and arms.  As a child, I had coaches knocking food out of my hands before meets. I had people joking me on my big shoulders. I was made fun of for not being able to wear a certain size swim suit.  As a swimmer, I lived in a swim suit and was critiqued a lot. It is not always the kindest sport.  So while I smiled and tried to keep others happy, I struggled finding my own happiness...  Then I found open water swimming.  The lake washed away all that pain, all those feelings, and I was fierce. 

With swimming distance, comes a need to train, do technique at the pool, and get stronger - faster - and more efficient.  I started using the My Swim Pro App to help me stay injury free. Right now I am training to swim something I've never swam before; I have a vision. But I want this post to show, that in all the years I tried so hard to make others happy, it took trying something crazy to find my happiness.  

Happiness is a journey, not a destination, and as my swim journey continues, I will vow to always find happiness for myself - while sharing true joy with others. My swim story, is a true reflection of who I am. Strong, fierce, sexy, and full of life. 

Moving On...

A few years ago I started questioning lots of different things.  Such as, do I like who I have become, how can I grow, and is there anything impeding my progress?  Certainly these questions bring lots to the table and tons to think about.  I came back continually to how healthy is my relationship with alcohol?  On July 5th of 2019 I decided to take a break from drinking.  What I didn't know, was that this break would turn into something more meaningful and more real that I ever could have imagined. I learned a lot, and realized this could not be about a break, it had to be about recovery.

Here I was, a 38 year old speech pathologist, athlete, and mother.  I'm so much to so many people, but I was crippled by a need to drink.  For me it all started as a preteen who tried Kahlua at parties and snuck vodka when no one was looking. Over the years it turned into frequent partying, poor choices, and occasional black outs.   I often felt bad the next day and could not really remember the night before. As an adult it turned into glasses of wine at dinner, in the evening, and often with friends.  It turned into a habit, one that I was not proud of...  and it took years to come to this choice after being unsuccessful with stopping numerous times.

 I haven't talked a lot about my struggles or my changes, just gone through the motions.  A few friends have helped and listened through my decision to stop drinking and have supported me.  I decided to talk about it with some other friends and I had a whole lot of backlash.  There were the naysayers, "you can't do that - are you crazy? - you love wine."  Or the folks who didn't understand that it had control of me, "you aren't addicted... I know addicts... they aren't (pretty, successful, insert adjective) like you..."  But the hardest people, were the ones who made my struggle about them - which lets be honest, when we can't listen we quit communicating altogether and I still can't talk to those people about it.  What would happen is I would say "it's been 55 days since I last drank," as I am holding back tears and trying for the life of me not to be ashamed - and the response would be "well, I don't drink that much, so it's not a problem for me..." Needless to say it's been really hard.

At this point, I choose not to go into more details of it, because it really doesn't matter anymore.  I used to drink and now I don't.   It's not a secret, it's my story - and I opt to move forward.  I choose happiness over any pain which requires being one-hundred percent present - in my actions, in the moment, and in my life.  I want to train on a different level, as swimming has made a huge comeback in my life. It's not really just a hobby, it's become my thing - and that's important to me.

So on day 113 of sobriety I can openly talk about what is important to me... my children, my husband, my family, and my passions - there's nothing blocking my visions, my dreams, and my life.  It's really the greatest feeling of all!

10K Swim

My first 10K swim. 

Note, I said first, because I plan on doing so many more.  I found my calling in life... well, now I'm being dramatic, but I found something that suits me so well.   I have long loved endurance events, as most of you know.  But the jarring of running, really wore my feet down.  I still love running and plan to run long distance, it's just I have a new love and focus right now.

On Saturday July 20, 2019 - I woke up and drank two cups of black coffee and had a Juice Plus Complete Shake with a banana and peanut butter.  I was very rested but had a slight tightness in my calves and shoulders from taking a High Fitness class two days before.  I figured it would be okay, but if I have my druthers, I would've skipped class and done a slow run that night instead but I'll do anything for my running partner - and High Fitness it was!

Terrence and I arrived to Linville Access around 8:15 and unloaded the car.  We had a cooler full of hydration (Fresh Lime Nuun for me), LÄRA Bars, and bananas.  I got in the water and started prepping. The water was upwards of 85 degrees and I was already panicking.  But I had to stay collected.  We started the swim around 8:30.  The first mile, the liar mile as we often call it, was a great way to settle in.  My arms were tight and sore but I figured that would subside.  We stopped at the first cove about 1.2 miles in; I drank to fuel - my pace on the first mile was 24:59, I was okay with this time but I knew I could swim a little faster.  Terrence handed me a bottle from the kayak and I tread the water while I drank.   On I swam ...  my goal was to drink each mile and eat at mile three, the turn around.  I swam out until 3.1 miles then came back toward Terrence for hydration and a bite of my LÄRA Bar.  It's so hard to eat and tread water.  Drinking is one thing, chewing is another monster. The longest stretch was from 3.1 to 4.5 that I swam without fueling.  By 4.5 miles I felt tanked.  We opted to stop every half mile at that point.  I looked at the animals, laughed with Terrence, and waved at boaters on the water.  I just enjoyed the moment, the peace, the water.  By mile 5.2 or so I was feeling really good again.  Then at 5.8 I saw the shore.  I started crying in my goggles.  But I can't cry and swim, that's not part of the plan, so I sucked it up.   When I hit mile 6 I knew I had just a few minutes left and that 0.2 felt like an eternity.  Then I hit the shore. It was over.

 When I got home I cried the biggest tears.  I still cry thinking about it all. I didn’t cry because it was over, I cried tears of joy because it’s all just begun.   I trained hard and lived the life of a marathon swimmer.   Hell, I am a marathon swimmer.

Focused and Ready

It's been a weird year - here we are half way through and I feel like I've lost part of my identity. Amazing how quickly that happens. When our dog Momo died, on the first day of 2019, it set a tone for me.  I somehow sensed things would be different.

I'm not sure what happened, but I woke up not wanting to train anymore.  It's an unfortunate scenario in some senses because it led me away from certain friendships because we lost that commonality - swimming or running - but at the same time, that's how friendship works, we evolve, grow, and move on, always seeing fondness for the past.  I took time to think about what I wanted,  where I needed to be, and just to live.

We got a new dog, George, and he took 4-5 months to bond with me. It was a weird feeling because there were days I thought "no one likes me, not even my dog," - total negativity, but we all get like that right? For me it lasts a few hours then I laugh about it.   By the time summer rolled around George started loving me all the time.  I wasn't just the lady who took him on some runs, fed him twice daily, and petted him - I was his lifeline.  Along that same time, I decided I wanted to train again.

Up to this point I was still running; my running partner, the only friend I had when my dog hated me, (haha) and I had started running faster.  I'm not talking seconds, I mean 2 minutes per mile faster.  And that was a huge focus for me.  Fast 5Ks.  I was swimming a lot, 3-4 times a week but for maintenance, speed, and form, not for distance.  It felt great to be a champion again... and, I was ready.  The lake was warming up and it was time to train. 

May 1st, I hit the lake for the first time since last season.  It was so cold, but I swam 1.5 miles chasing Terrence in the kayak.  I decided to go up to the lake weekly after that and have maintained that goal.  During that time I decided to train for a 10K swim. There are few races in the area and I could not find anyone to take me to the first few - my mother wanted someone to drive me and make sure I had support on land.  Terrence was working and my other friends were too busy... it was a bummer, but it happens.  I finally found a race that was far enough out that I could ask my parents to watch my children, Terrence could ask off from work, and we could go.


I started focusing on training using my Dad or Terrence as my pilot on my open water swims, doing 1 long swim a week at the pool, and doing 2 more swims at the pool that focused on speed and form.  I kept up my running 3 days a week too.  I met up with my swimming buddies and did some sessions with them too; I always want to race or need form tweaks anyhow...  In addition,  I started talking with some people on Instagram who sent me training plans, helped me discover mental strength, and loved the sport like I did.   One friend Luke, suggested I swim 45 minutes at a time to get used to the laps I'd be doing at Fontana Lake; my friend Dean suggested I just focus on "swimming the mile I was in"; and my friend Charlie (from Chapel Hill) who was rooting for me strongly and helping me make plans to get some NC swimmers together this summer.  Then something terrible happened. I don't plan to go into details, but my friend Charlie died during a multistage open water swim event in the Hudson River.  I was heartbroken.  But it had me recollect my thoughts.  What was it I was really looking for?  The race I was planning on doing did not have a pilot per swimmer like some races do, it was a two mile course with aid stations every 2 miles, and I felt like I needed Terrence or my Dad on course.  I had too many questions about the course, that it did not seem like the right fit for me. So I backed out of the race.

We decided to go it alone.  So on July 20th,  my pilot, Terrence, and I will hit my lake to get me through my 10K.  I don't need medals or a t-shirt for validation, I just want to do it.  Open water swimming brings me courage, strength, and vitality - it's the sport I have needed in my life but came into kind of late.   Being with my husband on my lake is going to be incredible, then I can be home to cuddle my new best friend George, hug on my children, and text my friends all about it.  I'm excited! In fact, I'm focused and ready.

JOY

A few weeks ago I woke up tired.  My head was stuffy, I was sleepy, and I was cranky.  I'm not typically cranky or sleepy, although I certainly get tired and irritable at times.  Something felt out of place, wrong, too much, exhausting, daunting... when I looked at my time in a day and how much of it was spent doing things, it dawned on me, I wasn't doing things that brought me joy.  After Momo's passing, I filled my days with long runs, swims, and bikes.  I went to work, skipped lunch to hit the gym, came home to do mom things, then went back to the gym at night. I hit the bed tired and then woke up to do it again.  We ended up adopting a new dog, "him name George", "him perfect", "him a Labrador".  And things fell back in place.  My word JOY that I had selected to focus on this year, kinda started being the focus again.


George came bounding into our home and took over.  He fell in love with the Bumgarners at first sight. What happened was we went to adopt a dog at the Asheville Animal Clinic - making an appointment and everything - and it fell through.  The kids were so sad, so we ran by PetSmart just to see if any adoptions were taking place, and low and behold, there he was. Terrence saw George first then George and I locked eyes.  I knew he was our dog.  He knew he was a Bumgarner. The first night, he slept on top of me.  Yoshi was angry, but those emotions eventually lifted when Yoshi
realized George wasn't going anywhere.  Yoshi and George are now forging a friendship.  Yoshi is old, he's 15, and I wasn't sure he'd ever have pep in his step again ... but for some reason George is bringing it out in him. They love long walks and to growl at each other. I call it love.  I also see JOY in Yoshi that had left him for a bit. I totally get it.  George pulled joy back into our family. 


During this time, I just decided to take a break. I've scaled back on training to focus on happiness, family, and simply living better. My running has improved tremendously because I've focused on the love of running again.  George and I are running trails together and he's up to about 10 miles, which we do at a snail pace to stop and look at the flowers.  The kids are enjoying taking walks with Yoshi and George and just being outside.  I cried to Terrence about the triathlon, but it will be okay - I purged and it's behind me now.  Right now I have no goals.  I guess I'd love to say I raised money for a charity running again, so I'm looking into that option for the fall or possibly running with with someone with a visual impairment. It just seems so much more meaningful for me at this point and you know what, it's okay if I never train for a marathon again - I likely will - but I'm cool.


Where I'm at is finding JOY in life. There's so much out there from sunsets -to love - to vegans tacos and so much more!  I can run trails with my dog, run 5Ks with my daughters, and run as fast as I want with my running partner screaming as we run down mountains (that's the tentative plan for Friday afternoon).  Because I'm not stressed by training - I'm not held back by a plan...   I do want to continue cycling and of course I will swim the open water this summer.  It will give me time to be with my dad out on the lake - and just enjoy it.  Right now we are building a relationship with George.  All the Bumgarners are... and I know Momo is smiling down on all of this! That was the great plan.  And it's so JOYous.

Momo

A little over 11 years ago I was feeling a void in my life. We were married, but not yet ready for children.  I wanted a cat or a gerbil, and wasn't happy raising just houseplants. My husband shared the void, and was strongly against the cat idea - he even claimed he was allergic (he really is).  So my husband got me a Nintendo DS game with dogs in it. I spent time playing that game and raised a Yorkie named Momo all while tending to my real life houseplants.  I was killing it! A couple of months passed and my avatar dog was not helping my fill my void - the thoughts of a fish crossed my mind, maybe a turtle, or possibly some small rodents...  A friend of ours mentioned that her friend was going through a divorce and needed a home for her miniature Schnauzer - the dog was housebroken, a few years old, and had a sweet temperament.  The dog's name was Tinsel, and while I wasn't crazy about the name, I figured I could tolerate it or at least train it under a nickname all while getting licks, cuddles, and doggie kisses. I planned out my life with little Tinsel. Late in December, before Christmas break, I left for work. Tinsel was to come live with us that day and all I had to do was get through another crazy workday before getting my first dog.  When I arrived home, a tiny little dog ran up to me.  He was black and tan.  He was spunky, curious, and beautiful. I thought, surely this is not Tinsel, it appears to be a Yorkshire Terrier. The plans with Tinsel fell through, she remained with her father through the divorce... yet my husband did not want to disappoint me.  So he found a breeder and picked out the most active puppy of the bunch.  I immediately fell in love and so did the dog with me.  I had all these plans to crate train, obedience train, and make my dog a therapy dog... but things didn't pan out that way.  Instead my little Momo, as I named him (short for Morimoto, my favorite Iron Chef) became a little terror, my own little embodiment of me, anxious, quirky, and full of energy. He knocked over trash cans, hoarded dirty socks and underwear, and barked at the mailman. But, he was still my baby.  Momo and I spent all of my free time together, we went visiting
friends, did costume contests, and shared a pillow at night.  We walked the Greenway, explored creeks, and spent  hours at the dog park.  During the day Momo would rip the blinds out of the windows, knock down tables, and tear up paper.  He ended up in obedience school and obtained a calmer, more stable rescue Yorkie named Yoshi to give him a playmate.  They were fast friends who ultimately became brothers. The two fought like crazy, but could be found cuddling when no one was looking, and standing up for each other when push came to shove.  Science calls it pack mentality, but I called it brotherhood.   Momo liked a handful of people but he was obsessed with me; truth be told, I was more obsessed with him.  Momo and I were thick as thieves.  In fact, I think he loved me, Yoshi, and Terrence in that order.  Then just tolerated everyone else.

Being that I'm a runner, my goal was to train Momo to run 5Ks.  He wasn't expected to get bigger than 7 lbs, but I figured we could at least walk together if the running didn't work out - Momo outgrew the expectations and weighed 18lbs at his last vet check. Over the years, Momo became my steadfast running partner, running 9 minute miles, consistently running 4-6 miles 3-4x a week, and showing a fondness for trail running. He could run longer distance but showed strength and love for those shorter runs.  He even had running friends, Cleo Andrews and Moses Crawley, whom he looked forward to running with. I could never keep up with him, yet he loyally waited for me at every turn.

 Momo was fortunate to be there for so many milestones... he listened to my rambling on about work woes, was there to congratulate me during blessings, and helped me welcome home all three of the Bumgarner babies.  He was interested in Ava for some reason, treating her as an alpha, but never figured the twins out.  He still loved them as his own.

 About two years ago, Momo quit sleeping through the night.  My body grew accustomed to his
frequent wakings and I kept telling myself this was part of owning a dog.  Then one day, I woke up and the floor of the kitchen was sticky.  I mumbled that morning about the kids probably spilling Sprite and not cleaning it up, so I begrudging cleaned it up... then I found more and it happened again... I realized it was not Sprite at all, but sticky urine.  My tiny treasure was sick - we had to get him to the vet, he probably had a UTI, I thought.  We got Momo to the vet and received news that he may have diabetes.  Worse yet, hard to treat diabetes, or Cushing’s Disease. We were relieved to have an
answer, but terrified by the what-ifs... however,  we  could work with daily insulin shots.  But then a few days later, the insulin wouldn't work --- not at all.  Momo quit moving, he quit eating, and he quit being Momo.  The vet called to check in Momo and we opted to take on palliative / hospice care for our little boy, our first son. I assume you know where the story goes...

His last day on earth, he didn’t move. He laid out in the rain and sulked. When I arrived home from work and my run, he took his last steps to greet me - he fell to the floor but his tail wagged with purpose.  At 3:00 in the morning, on New Year’s Day, I found Momo, sighing heavily, panting, and shivering... I covered him up. Terrence told him it was okay to go - to pass - to be at peace. Within 30 minutes, Momo took his final breath.  I was heartbroken.  I still hear the jingling of his dog tags and turn to look, but he's not there. Momo is buried on our property now... he will forever be a Bumgarner.

I never knew such a tiny bundle could bring me so much joy and so much pain. My heart broke when I saw him lying in the floor listlessly.  The last morsel of food he refused left me empty inside. Looking into his once beautiful brown eyes, that were now clouded made me miss the trashcan being emptied into the floor and all his shenanigans, including barking at dogs on TV and his fear of tape measures. To Momo, my best friend, having you these past 11 years has changed me irrevocably.  I benefited from being your friend, your mother, and your human. You made me realize that joy can be found on the trails, with you by my side, passing the time. That cuddling on the couch is necessary and that hanging your head out the window on a sunny day feels amazing.  I am honored that you greeted me so lovingly, throughout the day, and showed affection so freely.  I will always miss that look you gave me when we ran together and the way your ears fell back on your head. I loved the way your tail wagged and the way you jumped up when you saw your favorite people.  One day I will move on, but I'll forever hold you in my heart. The love between a dog and a human is incredible. One of the best loves you can feel.

After a pet passes, some believe they go to a special heaven where they wait in a huge field surrounded by other pets, all well, warm, and happy... once their beloved owner passes the two cross the rainbow bridge into heaven together. And while that comforts me,  I just want to know that we gave Momo the best life possible and that during his life he was happy, loved, and cherished. That’s my biggest comfort.

Becoming a Triathlete

This year has been about change and pushing forward with a new perspective. It's been a journey and it's only October, who knows what the next two months will bring! Earlier this year, I ran everything... I was on a high from Myrtle Beach and Philly Marathons from 2017 and went into 2018 ready to run more.  I tried distance trail runs and determined I'm probably not equipped to handle ultras, but I succeeded at the Asheville Marathon enough to pace a half marathon a few weeks later.  Injury crept in and I momentarily froze.  So I left marathon running, to try my hand at marathon swimming, and found a new joy.  Now in October I am back to doing both - I swim and run distance. Oddly, even though I'm happy having two distance sports to toy around with, I feel like something is missing.  It's like my training needs something else.  Is it the need to run a marathon, is it a desire to swim a 10K, or do I need another element?  It's the desire to add another element.  I want to cycle...so here I am... becoming a triathlete.

Next week I plan to start a 6 month training plan to gear up for a 70.3 - I just want to "tri" (see what I did there?) That includes: 1.2 miles of swimming, 56 miles of cycling, and 13.1 miles of running.  I've got the running and the swimming in the bag... but the cycling? I've been asked a few times if I have ever cycled.  Sure, people know I have ridden a bike - but I guess they don't know I used to go on 20-30 mile rides with my Dad in Germany. Then, my Dad and I considered signing up to ride across NC and trained consistently during that time.  It's been years ago, but I can bring it back. I have that background.  While that may sound ridiculous, I brought back swimming.  Remember I was a junior olympic qualifying breast-stroker - took many years off - and then learned to use swimming as my cross training. Now, it's part of my life. 





So as I move forward, I am excited. I am ready to take on this journey. It's a new beginning. I am going to do this triathlon thing as well as I can - with lots of laughter, lots of love, and my full heart. That's how I roll.

Marathon Swimmer... What, What?

I'm not really sure how interesting this will be to others, but it is where I am and what I am doing. Using this platform to explain may be the easiest way to clearly get my point across.  Honestly, I've tried to explain my new "journey" and it's led to confusion, loss of interest in conversing with me, and just general blank stares... not because people or rude or I am weird (these statements could go either way), but because it's not normal to swim 6.2 miles.  Or is it? In fact, at the pool yesterday (I was there for 2 hours), I had two shout-outs from the water aerobics instructor while conversely another lady called me "crazy."

6.2 miles or a 10K is something tons of runners run... but who really swims it... and where? The 10K and beyond is called a marathon swim.  Marathon swimmers are evidently a thing, and I got warmly welcomed to a group of them by sending in an application with a description on why I deserved to be in the group in the first place.  It's gone swimmingly (see what I did there) since being elected into the group but I was nervous for a bit.  Marathon swimmers take the sport very seriously, as they should, it's tough work and the hardest training I've ever done. One of my goals is to get Lake James on the map as a place that has been marathon swam.  But I have to assemble a crew.   Being a marathon swimmer has a host of rules and regulations you have to follow.  From what gear you can have to what you can wear and what constitutes a marathon distance. Among other things. What I know is that I can wear a normal swimsuit, a swim cap, and goggles.  I can have a kayaker, canoer, boater, or paddleboarder with me for support (one pilot, one or more observers, and probably support) and we travel the lake.   A pilot will guide me through the lake as my navigator.  The observer will document latitude and longitude, wind speed, temperature outside and in the lake, make observations, and make sure I do not break rules - etc.  They are required to take photos of me in the lake every hour of my swim.  Any other support can time my feedings, make sure we stay on relative track, and just enjoy the day.  I am not allowed to touch the boats.  I must "swim" or "float" the duration.

Confused? I thought you might be. So I will break it down again. I will swim the lake, people will help me, Lake James will be on the map. Bam! Or something like that.

In order to get ready for this, I've done a tremendous amount of training. I get up and hit the pool by 5:30 am lots of mornings, swim on my lunch break, and swim really long distance once a week.  Every time I swim I swim at least 2,000 yards which is approximately 1.2 miles or so (which I can easily do in less than 40 minutes); I swim the lake 2-3 miles, once a week, more if I can. I hit the pool more, since it is close and safe for me to go alone. My long swim started at 2,500 yards and crept up weekly; before this
journey I had never swam more than 2,500 yards in one stretch, now I consistently swim that far without stopping. Over the weekend I swam 6,200 yards (3.6 miles) and broke it down into 10x600 essentially with a short cool down. Yesterday I swam 3 miles, with 3000 yards of it being without stopping.  I've figured out how to breathe better in the water and it's weird but at times I feel my body completely melt and be at one with the stroke, the movement, and the water. It's almost like that feeling when you finish crying and your body just relaxes and the burden is gone; that's how it feels when I become one with the water, I kind of just "give".  It's catharsis; a healthy and wonderful feeling. Other days I snort water up my nose, get concerned about drowning, and cannot feel my arms. It's part of the process.

Then there's the part of the process where I've had time to think.  Because with swimming, there's lots of time to get stuck in your own head, and that can be good or bad.  In the pool there's hours of looking at one black line for all those yards and in the open water, it's all darkness (except when you breathe and see the light).  What I have processed is that I'm okay alone in doing this.  A good training partner got me to this point and I can continue onward.  I'm okay training alone.  Sure I have a kayaker to keep me safe in the open water, but while I'm swimming, I'm okay to be alone in my own head pushing forward.  I'm mentally tough, determined, and goal oriented and I love that about me.  I feared that transitioning from long distance running to long distance swimming, I would lose part of my identity, but I did not.  In essence, I gained a better part.  I'm not saying running is not similar because it is in some respects, but then it's a polar opposite too.  It is harder mentally to be a swimmer and I like that challenge.  I'm still running three days a week but enjoying the break from long distance runs. And that is okay too.  It's part of my journey.


A week ago, I excitedly accepted an offer to be a brand ambassador for New Wave Swim Buoy.  Maybe I'm an ego-swimmer, maybe I put too much time into social media to promote what I enjoy, but my goal is popularize exercise in general.  I'm not saying you need to run ultra marathons, climb 14ers, or swim the English Channel - although admittedly those all sound amazing! What I want to promote is people moving their bodies for longevity.  I also want to show the world what swimming is, what it can be, and what it has done for me.   I honestly never thought I'd be training for an open water marathon swim, but here I am, killing it!