The darndest things she says...

Ava-isms.  I read this word on another friend's blog or Facebook status, one of those places.  I am citing Elizabeth for the term, but I honestly think we both coined it. Elizabeth is a mother to an Ava.  Being a mother to an Ava is something extraordinary... and Avas are wild... they have Ava-isms... all the time! Not a day goes by that I don't laugh until I cry at something my sweetie has said.  Some people say "You can tell she's a speech pathologist's child..." must be true because my friend Elizabeth is also a speech pathologist.

I will add more and more, but here are a few that will start the list:

1) Never say be quiet to Ava or you will hear her plead "Let me talk!"
2) She recently yelled at my Mom who was downstairs while Ava was up, "Mimi, throw me up a flashlight and a piece of candy!"
3) Ask Ava her name and you'll get "AvaElizabethBumgarnerliveinMorganton."
4) Ask Ava what she wants to be when she grows up... "A unicorn."
5) Never answer a "Why" question...  or you will answer 70 more. For example, "Ava did you know Barack Obama was the president?"  "Why is Barack Obama the president?" "He was voted in."  "Why was he voted in?" "He won an election." "Why did he win an election?" "Because he was the best candidate for the job." "Why was he the best candidate for the job?" ETC.
6) During nightly prayers she prays for her family. She also prays for my OB, the doctor who delivered her (not my OB), a local restaurant, the man at Burke Bedding (her words), Margie (the dog's groomer), and kiwi fruit. Prayers take 25 minutes with Ava.
7) Don't raise your voice at Ava or you will hear "Talk happy. Don't talk like that."
8) She has one bad word. It's bad. She told my mother-in-law "Grammy tell me another bad word," to which Grammy said "No, you don't need to know any more." "Yes, I do Grammy. Because I don't want to say it." (Her reasoning, if she knows all the bad words, then she won't ever say them).
9) She knows all of her body parts, all of them. Seriously, all of them...
10) She likes animals from "Neon Tetras" to "Yorkie Dogs" and everything in between. "Aardvarks, rhinos, hippos, porcupines, moose, etc."
11) She told my dad she could get paper to draw on from "The paper machine." (AKA, the computer printer)
12) "Some little bit," as in "Can I play outside, some little bit?"
13) Not a word but a gesture, ask for thumbs up, and you get an index finger in the air.
14) She sings Flo-rida's "Get Low," to our dog. She claims she learned it "Up in K-Mart." (Actually, I sing it to Yoshi, but I like "Up in K-Mart" better).
15) "Do they have owls in K-Mart?" "No." "Yes they do Daddy, K-Mart is a big store."
16) "Why do you ask why so much Ava?" "I think why and I want to know."