Alter Ego

A friend recently pointed out to me, that I seem to have an alter ego. Her name is Eartha. Eartha is serious and into radical changes in the world.  She runs, she's a natural beauty, she believes in the ethical treatment of animals, she recycles, and she likely drinks kombucha. Then there's Carly. She's professional, kind, pulled together, pretty, and proper.  See, I thought they were one and the same.  Then it got me thinking... do we code switch, lifestyle switch to adapt to our surroundings? Do we have alter egos that allow us to fit into certain categories? And with those thoughts, I went to nature.

The chameleon came to mind. A chameleon will change his color to hide/camouflage himself from danger, he will even change his color to communicate his intent to his tribe, and he will change his color to submit or give up.  That fact that he changes does not make him less chameleon; it does not make him fake; it does not make him weird or odd --- it makes him chameleon.  There's beauty in nature which adds beauty to life.

This brought me back to me.  I've struggled the past few years with adaptation and change.  I dealt with learning to live on one income, I dealt with being in the wrong job placement for me, I dealt with the loss of a loved one to suicide,  I dealt with toxic friendships, I suffered a severe running injury ... I dealt with struggle after struggle ... and I tried to smile in the midst of it all... because that's Carly -- kind, pretty, and proper.   Then with a switch in mindset and growth,  I learned about abundance... abundance means that life is provided for if you are willing to just let go.  I sought out guidance from a couple of friends who I knew could support me on this journey.  Overnight things changed. I meditated over the thoughts of eventually finding eternal happiness in all aspects of life even if some days would still be hard.  I remembered happy thoughts and tried to tie up the past so I could learn to live in the present.  I read a lot more,  I took time to enjoy my cuppa tea, I listened to others, and I even learned to let go of toxic friendships and learned to relish healthy friendships.  A weight was lifted off my shoulders.  I ran faster -- because I was only focused on running in that present moment... I learned to love more fiercely, because if that single moment is the only one my loved ones remembered of me, then damn it, I'm going to show them love... and I lived freely with no one's rules but my own.  Maybe's that Eartha. I don't know. I think it's likely my higher self and I'm glad she shines brighter these days.

For now I plan to move forward and continue learning... I will continue to grow internally. But only one day at a time, because I'm needed in the present moment --- not the past... I've proven I can adapt to change. And I have a wonderful couple of friends who pointed this all out to me.