I love all of my children. The love grows deeper each day, as they get bigger and learn new things. I think their love for me grows each day as well. But, I am terrified to be left alone with all three of them! I remember when Ava was born having the same feelings, but now it seems like it should be a more legitimate fear as I have three children. Why is it that a 31 year old woman, who has 13 years experience with children and a master's degree in speech pathology, so scared of her own children? The combined weight of the three is only 55 pounds, two of them sleep 20 hours a day, and the other is fairly independent... but I still get scared. I worry about how I will cope in general, what if something happens, what if the mailman knocks on the door (how will I handle this?), and what if I get hungry for god's sake? Will the children survive my trip to the bathroom? Can I drink something, because I'm not sure any of them are qualified to do the Heimlich? If it begins snowing, in June, will someone be able to relieve me, in the next 7 or 8 hours, because we just sold our four-wheel drive vehicle to buy a van to seat all 3 kids... okay so I am ridiculous, but the thoughts do cross my mind. In any case, I think I am creating this post, not to seek help or try to have my feelings validated, because I know I am normal. I am creating this post to let others know, that being a parent is extremely terrifying and that's okay. No matter how much we love them and cannot wait for their arrival during pregnancy, there is still that anxiety and worry in all of us. That is what makes a good parent and something to be proud of!
I love all of my children. The love grows deeper each day, as they get bigger and learn new things. I think their love for me grows each day as well. But, I am terrified to be left alone with all three of them! I remember when Ava was born having the same feelings, but now it seems like it should be a more legitimate fear as I have three children. Why is it that a 31 year old woman, who has 13 years experience with children and a master's degree in speech pathology, so scared of her own children? The combined weight of the three is only 55 pounds, two of them sleep 20 hours a day, and the other is fairly independent... but I still get scared. I worry about how I will cope in general, what if something happens, what if the mailman knocks on the door (how will I handle this?), and what if I get hungry for god's sake? Will the children survive my trip to the bathroom? Can I drink something, because I'm not sure any of them are qualified to do the Heimlich? If it begins snowing, in June, will someone be able to relieve me, in the next 7 or 8 hours, because we just sold our four-wheel drive vehicle to buy a van to seat all 3 kids... okay so I am ridiculous, but the thoughts do cross my mind. In any case, I think I am creating this post, not to seek help or try to have my feelings validated, because I know I am normal. I am creating this post to let others know, that being a parent is extremely terrifying and that's okay. No matter how much we love them and cannot wait for their arrival during pregnancy, there is still that anxiety and worry in all of us. That is what makes a good parent and something to be proud of!
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