Reflections on Being a Parent

Being a parent is hard work, with that being said it is certainly something I recommend. From a social standpoint, friends change, ideas of what you do for fun changes, and you become that irritating woman at the grocery store who wants to know the benefits of kale - because that 19 year old in the mini skirt is the first "real" person you have come in contact with in three days. Emotionally it is very rewarding, I smile a lot---but you have your heart out there and it kills you when your kids hurt. Physically it is demanding, totally exhausting, and a "great way to stay in shape."  (Family Guy reference - sorry no link). 

At this point in my life, I feel like I might be in the best shape ever. For example, I was able to  run a marathon then immediately come home and care for three children the rest of the night.  When I get a cold, I call it a "minor irritation" and not "sick." The reason for these things is "I have to." So what if I am sick? I am still a mom of three.  So what if I ran a marathon? I am still a mom of three who runs.  They always have to come first and that's the answer to how "I do it."

 I think one of the most amusing things is the things that come out of your mouth, that without context would sound weird or bizarre, yet with children it is normal. This morning I said to Elle, "don't put food in his mouth and not expect him to eat it," and then five minutes later "don't put your finger in his mouth and not expect him to bite it." Can you guess which scenario involved the dog and which one involved her twin brother Easton? Sad, but true. Life is never boring with children.

As a speech pathologist watching them learning to talk is amazing. At 19 months they compliment you by saying "Mommy gorgeous" at 4 they say more complex things like "Mommy, I love you because, sometimes, you let me water the plants." That statement was described as discerning by a friend, but I just call it Ava.  Elle is now putting "aint it," after many statements.  For example she says "Where milk at?" immediately finds it and says "It's milk, aint it?" It is insanity in this house.

Then there are times you want to cry, because you love and adore them so much. Like when Ava yells, while on the toilet, "Mommy I love you." So you let her sleep in your bed since she is so cute and sweet, even though you know you won't sleep and her head will end up under the covers, on your hip with her feet on your face, at least four times in the middle of the night. You also have to sleep with her four closest animal friends, including a five-foot pony named Scarlet. It's all good though.


Other times, I am amazed at what they think was a good idea. Let me just give you things Easton has done in the last 24 hours that, to him, "seemed like a good idea." Put a moving toy train in his hair (it got stuck), washed his face and hair with the dogs' water, and ate four pieces of dog food. All good ideas, to Easton, however, they worked out for him --- not so well.  He might just blame it on "Carly," his new word of the week. Yah! Haha

Is this post humorous? Perhaps.... but it is so true and hearfelt.  I am convinced being a parent is the most important and wonderful thing I have done. I am proud of it!


I have been told it is nice to offer thanks, when it is appropriate. *****Obviously, I have loads of people to thank in helping us with our brood, but I wanted to give a shout out to several other folks who have made an impact on our life.  I would like to thank Sub Station II for providing a gallon of pickles, since it makes Elle have hissy fits in the floor three times a day, when she sees the jug and doesn't get one.  Age appropriate temper tantrums when frustrated is an adaptive skill she needed. I would also like to thank the maker of my door for not putting a dog door in it so I have to get up 47 times an hour to let the dogs out. It has been good for my quads and hamstrings as I get up and down to get to the door.  Easton is learning to turn a door handle, which means I get to sprint more now, to chase him out the door. The last group I would like to thank are the makers of coffee and the makers of wine. You both are amazing! If it wasn't for coffee, wine, and running, I'd be a different person.

Happy New Year from the Bumgarners! 2014 is going to be something wonderful! I can sense it!

Medal Me... Medal Easton.

I came home from a run the other day and noticed Terrence had put up a medal rack for all of my running accomplishments. I was terribly excited to celebrate my runs... yet, it had me thinking.  On a six miler today, Thanksgiving of all days, I started thinking about what I was proud of, thankful for, and countless other things I could put prepositions at the end of to showcase my poor grammar.  So what did I think about on this run, well, all those medals of course. I have medals for placing in my age group and finishing big races - but to be honest, the real runs that aren't honored on my medal rack are all the training runs that got me those medals. In particular I thought of an 8 mile run, back when the twins were very little.

The twins never slept, at least it seemed that way. By the time they were 6 weeks old, I was insane. I was sleeping 45 minutes some nights, 2 hours the next, and none the following. I slept in a chair. I could fall asleep on our steps, but was awoken immediately by crying. Thankfully, those days are over. It was so hard! I ran, a lot, then. To keep me sane. One night, I remember Easton wouldn't sleep, couldn't sleep, or both. I had maybe a few minutes of rest while Easton squalled - I was crazy. At 5 a.m., I packed him into the car and took off for the Greenway. I put him in the  stroller and took off. We ran the entire Greenway. I passed a cyclist who said "that baby has run more than I biked!" My goal was to get him to sleep. I was successful. It did not help my exhaustion, but I remember "this too shall pass." (In fact, I sleep at least 8 hours a night now.) In any case, it was cathartic. Yet, I received no medal for this monumental and exhausting run. Runs like this, have made me the determined, goal driven, and passionate runner I am. Yet. I have nothing but a memory I have described here, to show. Memories are a lot, but I cannot remember them all. So this is my medal and Easton's medal for that 8 miler after no sleep. Because it means more to me than a half marathon I did in Todd, NC once... long ago.

In a total different world, Easton was evaluated by the CDSA again this week. He qualified for the Infant-Toddler Program------ again. This time, I am not worried. He needs some oral motor therapy and has delayed fine motor skills. He refuses to color and stack blocks - big whoop, says the PT and the pediatrician, he will when he is ready.  My response, that's Easton. He is doing well over all. And guess what? No Cerebral Palsy! Isn't that awesome? I wanted to cry with joy. I am so proud of him! Thanks CDSA! I needed that... Easton medaled in awesomeness!

What's the going rate for a babysitter?

Read this post... and the title will make sense... I promise. 
The Easton saga continues... only indifferent news (as I now call it - it isn't good it isn't bad) gets easier to handle... and overall, the kid just gets harder. In seven days, my twins will be 18 months old. I want to say, I can't believe it, but really I can - 18 months with twins is like 6 years in the looney bin. Just kidding! With that being said, 18 months is a milestone age. At 18 months, a child should be running stiffly,  jargoning, combining words into little phrases, following simple directions, and learning to play.  We are there, well kind of, with Easton.  The past two months, I have watched him stumble, fall, and trip - we have had stitches, doctor's visits, and black eyes - I have called more people than I prefer to, trying to figure it all out again. Then there was the orthotist. Rewind back to October - Easton was fitted for inserts, then fast forward to present - we have inserts.

Today has been a whirlwind (and I am thirsty for something stiff to drink - my energy is crumbs.) I need a 10 mile run.  Anyhow, back to the whirlwind. Our appointment was at 2 and I worked the first part of the day. I had a protein shake for lunch-- haha, you were waiting for me to say that, right? Well I did, Cookies and Cream Spirutein in almond milk. Then I started the journey. When I picked up Easton, it was buy one Bumgarner get one free - so Ava came along. We made it to the appointment, paid our balance, and went back for the fitting.  I could bore you with how Glen said he was scared of Ava, Ava screamed when I told Easton not to touch the closet door because an alarm would go off, and how Ava soaked her shirt from the water fountain... but this is about Easton, so I won't. (And by the way, I am mother of the year, I have the coffee cup to prove it, so quit smirking at me.) So basically, we got the inserts and left. Now here's the crazy part. The damn ridiculously awesome things are to fit in "most shoes." I went to 6 stores before I found a pair that the inserts actually fit in... 6 stores times 2 children and me equals not fun.  I got home from a 2 p.m. appointment at 7:30 p.m. I feel neurotic.  Let's just end the story by saying in the five+ hours of torture, there was some joy... At 4p.m. we visited our former PT, Ms. Kathy, the joy of the day.  Her bright smile and sweet spirit is what we needed. God has a purpose for us all, and you meet certain people for certain reasons. Kathy has brought more to this family that she will ever know, and we certainly will never be able to repay her for all of her guidance, help, and love.  Now, if I can just figure out how to make her babysit... 

Top Ten List

Running is my yoga - my zen - my free thought time.  I spend a few hours a week out on the trails and on road thinking.  I never listen to music, because I need to think. Some of my best blogs are written on my runs. I have determined my mind is pretty tough as I conquered the marathon. Now, I just need to find a device that can transcribe thoughts into a word processor - futuristic?! In any case, today I came up with a top ten list that I thought was funny and inspiring, again I did this during my warm-up before hill repeats so it may be crazy. Just a little background, when I was 14, I wrote Top 10 lists for all of my friends in silly little notes we passed around the high school.  I was Letterman obsessed... (he always does a Top Ten List - for those who do not get the reference). My Top Ten Lists usually made fun of something, talked about drinking beer, or just made my friends smile... Well girls, I am bringing it back! Thank you running, limited time to think, and beer wine. (Haha)

TOP TEN LIST OF HARDEST TO EASIEST THINGS I  EVER DID 

****10 = oh my gosh, never again hard; 1= oh my gosh, do it again NOW****

10) Carrying twins to term (ha - ha- ha, have you followed this blog? If not see TWIN FUN)






 
9) Running a Marathon (not at all a good time)

8) Giving Birth - naturally, 3 times (notice the marathon was harder)




















7) Quitting a job I loved (almost as hard as a marathon even)



6) Leaving Germany, for good (eek, heart ache)

5) Being 14 (Hard but also easy)







4) Getting a college education and a masters degree (not really hard)
3) Becoming licensed in speech pathology (easy)
2)  Devoting my life to helping others (piece of cake)

 1) Marrying Terrence (easiest decision in the world, and one of my greatest; my other great decision was to have children with Terrence)

We have a great life! Prost! <3

Be Calm and Marath On

I was told only 1% of the population will ever complete what I did, now I know why... Oh the marathon... "At mile 20, I thought I was dead. At mile 22, I wished I was dead. At mile 24, I knew I was dead. At mile 26.2, I realized I had become too tough to kill." ~ Anonymous. A quote that rings so true.

On October 26, 2013 at 5:30 a.m., my day began. I woke up, took a shower, and straightened my hair. I then got dressed, grabbed a cup of coffee, and went to the car. Terrence got Easton ready and we set off for Jonas Ridge. (The girls were with my parents - warm in bed). I ate 3/4 a bowl of oatmeal -I wasn't very hungry - and the thought of choking down 4-5 peanut butter energy gels was messing with my mind. We arrived to Jonas Ridge at 7:20ish. The race was supposed to start at 8:00, and it was 22 degrees! Given the fact I was in a short running skirt and a thin, long-sleeved top I was scared to get out of the truck... but I did, at 7:40.  I ran into a gas station/general store to stay warm... during that time, I met several people who kept my spirits high. Some of them were the fastest, others were rookies, and some were experts.  At 7:55, Michelle, a nice lady from Indiana (who's daughter is a medical SLP) escorted me to the starting line. There I saw Christy, Bryan, and Cindy (three runners from Morganton) and we hugged.  Then the race seemed to start five seconds later - no prayer - no ready, set, go - just BOOM! So we started. About two minutes into the race, I heard "CARLY, is there a CARLY, a CARLY in a rainbow skirt?" I said "Yes!" and all of the sudden a man said "HERE!" and my friend Pam ran back grabbed my hand and took off. I told her to go on, mumbled something, and we parted. The first 5 miles or so, I made friends, found my pace, and ran. Pam passed me at a turn around and we "high-fived," she told me I would love the gravel ahead.  I did! At mile 6, I started a 9 mile descent down the mountain (although it seemed not so much like that). By down the mountain, I mean, through an area called "the Globe," it is an unpaved, remote, and rolling area of beauty. While running through the Globe, I met a nice looking fellow from Florida (who was dressed for a blizzard) and we ran together for 3 or 4 miles, chit chatting and what not. He told me that he and his wife vacation up here and enjoy camping in July, "it is so nice and cool," he claimed. Which gave me a good chuckle! When we parted, I enjoyed a mile or so of peace and solitude before meeting a man from Marion, NC and his friend from Cincinnati. I asked the man from Marion what our times were - he said we ran the first half in under 2 hours and 30 minutes; total personal record "PR" for me! At mile 14, my quads were killing me. A police officer came through the course at this time, in his car. I told him to pass, but he didn't, instead he followed me for 5-10 minutes. When he finally passed me, he got on his loud speaker and said "Looking strong pretty runner." So I imagine he was looking at my backside - I mean, c'mon, I wore a cute skirt - I stared at it for hours online! I digress, back to the marathon... Then, I turned out of the Globe and took off towards a town called Mortimer. At this point there was an aide station at mile 16. I could bore you with details of how I cried when I realized David D. (a friend's father and a former colleague's husband) gave me a cup of gatorade and encouraged me... but I won't. I love you David, forever, running makes me crazy. Then I hit the proverbial wall. It hurts and it is real. So real. I tried not to panic, I held back tears, and I cursed. I prayed a few times, begged for forgiveness, and told myself - get this done or your family will disown you, Jaime will fire you, Pam will defriend you, and Christy, Bryan, and Cindy will laugh at you. But as those negative thoughts sunk into my head, my guardian angel came around and made me positive again. A nice lady, her name escapes me, and her sister ran/walked with me for 4 miles or so. They were ultra runners (crazy-fanatics who run like 30-100 miles for fun). Thanks to these two ladies, their jokes, liberal minds, and beautiful out looks on life I managed to pull myself out of a dark-chasm. At mile 18 we turned onto Wilson's Creek road, and by mile 20 they left me. I struggled for a a few minutes finding the strength to run again. At this point, I knew I could finish, but I didn't think it would running. So I walked/ran until mile 22... when, I have determined, a pretzel rod saved my life. It made me run again - and love running again. I grabbed a pretzel at an aide station, stopped and talked for a minute to the helpers, and took off. I think I ran my personal best four miles ever (haha);  I seemed to be flying. At mile 23, I hallucinated momentarily, cursed again, and immediately begged for forgiveness - the 3 looked like a 5.  Anyhow, miles 22-25 were a blur. At mile 25, I tasted victory. Coming down Wilson's Creek road I smiled, I beamed, I laughed, and I danced like I usually do when I run (yes, I am a head bobber, running makes me giddy). Then I heard a car, a familiar car, it was that silly police officer again... this time he got on his loud speaker and said "There she is, my pretty runner! Looking good!" I laughed so hard, I nearly had to quit. But I kept running.

Then I smelled burgers, I don't eat burgers but I could smell them, I heard people laughing and I realized this was it, the END. I could taste 26.2. I wanted to kiss the ground.  I saw my Mom first, then my Dad, then Easton, Elle, Ava, and my sweet friends Wendy and Sherri. I greeted each of them separately, smiled, and said "is this it?" My Mom said "you have a little more," and I wanted to jump her.  Love you Mom! Then I saw Jaime, my dear friend and boss. Jaime was cheering me on, her girls Macey and Morgan wanted to run and kindly asked if they could finish with me, so I said "c'mon girls, let's do this!" And we did. Macey, Morgan, and Carly finished Peak to Creek Marathon. At the end was a  huge sign saying "Go Carly Go!",  a handsome man standing at the end to hug me (Terrence),  my darling friend Pam (who rocked this marathon out) ready to hug me, my mother-in-law smiling, my kids running to greet me, my parents cheering, and several of the folks I met along the way yelling for me. It was amazing! Then I looked for that medal. "Put it on my neck, STAT," I screamed in my head. I wasn't leaving without it. Saturday night, was likely the most awful night of my life, but I handled it with a smile. I was in so much pain - but I felt accomplished and swollen. Sunday was better... and today, Monday, I worked some and did a 1,000 yard swim. I feel okay. I am tired but okay. I hope to run on Thursday or Friday of this week. We shall see. I hope to feel normal again... in time, I imagine.


"If you want to win something, run 100 meters. If you want to experience something, run a marathon." -- Emil Zatopek

The Journey Continues, C'est La Vie

In true Easton fashion, the journey continues, and so is life. After 3 months of no therapy, limited worries, and lots of growth - I started noticing his gait was not improving. He is walking, he is trying to run, and he "pretends to jump." BUT he has no balance. He keeps his hands out, and I kept thinking "maybe he will take off in flight," then he never did, so something had to give. We knew he might need SMOs (supramalleolar orthosis) or simple inserts, but we waited it out. Then when I noticed he continued to "slip" at the heel, I called Level 4 Orthotics.  They had Easton seen within three days of my call.  Kristie our NP had an order written in several hours - a quote was submitted to my insurance company within two days of the order being written and I made the first payment today. Easton has yet to receive his inserts... but it has been a unique experience; I imagine inserts will be here soon. Last Monday, Easton and I traveled to Hickory to meet with an orthotist at Level 4. We had Subway on the way, Easton ate about 7 chips and drank my "iced-tea;" the kid rarely says "Mommy" but can say "iced-tea" 8x in a row.  Then we went to Level 4. I filled out the necessary paper work, talked with the receptionist, and then met a nice older couple in the waiting room. Glen, the orthotist, called us back promptly.  He watched Easton walk and immediately keyed in on the heel-slip. Due to something near the calcaneus - likely a stretched ligament near the heel (aka calcaneus) Easton needs some stability. Therefore inserts.  Glen said something about SMOs and I gave him the "hell-no" eye... he then recommended inserts.


Don't get me wrong, I will pay $10,000 to get my kids what they need, I will drive them to Chicago to get the best therapies, I will quit eating to feed them - but I also know there are usually cheaper options - so we decided on inserts. To be honest, they aren't that expensive. I do wish we had POMCS through the CDSA, I do wish I had better insurance, I do wish Easton could go without and run at ease... but c'est la vie.  Truthfully our life is really blessed and I love getting to experience all of this with Easton - just wish I didn't have to share my tea! Stay Tuned!

We are still here

It has been terribly busy - and I apologize to Bumgarner fans! Haha

The marathon has been so time consuming - it even consumes my mind. I think about it nonstop. To be honest, I think I have it figured out - it is a psychological race.  Running 26.2 miles is doable - not thinking about running 26.2 miles while running 26.2 miles is nearly impossible. Each excruciating minute past the ideal run (8 miles for me) makes it even more daunting - but I will beat that. I can do this. (Yes that is a nasty run selfie over there... sweat...nice!)

On top of that, I am managing a pretty heavy caseload right now with work - being in private practice is a blessing when you work with the right people... but the kids I work with and their families often take a toll on me mentally, physically, and emotionally. It can be tough. I love them all too much!

Then there are the silly things I do day to day, like housework, taking care of our animals, exercising (not running), oh yeah and sleeping.  Protein shakes have made a huge comeback in my life - since there is again, little time to eat. 

The kids are doing great. Ava is in school 2x a week (mobile pre-k) - I believe she is doing well. Her teacher Ms. Lula is always putting a smiley face sticker in Ava's notebook, so I imagine no news is good news. Ava is also riding horses once a week and being quite the big girl.  She will be going to my friend Laura's wedding tomorrow, as my date.  When I asked Terrence if he could go (he tentatively had to work tomorrow - four weeks ago) Ava said "I want to go Mommy." So alas, she's my date (with our pal Lucy).  Elle and Easton are also doing quite well. Elle is all over the place. She is talking up a storm. She's the little mama of the bunch, the boss, and a pretty little twin dictator. Easton on the other hand is the follower.  He is usually a go with the flow, cool cat... he often bites the dictator when she gets out of line. Then she bites him back and he comes to me for a morale boost.  He is trying to talk some - not as much as he should be at this age - but he is coming along. He dances well and can hum a tune. He calls me Mama, occasionally, but that is better than never!

A typical day, now (which seems easy compared to last year):

6:30 Mommy is up for coffee, shower, tv, and getting ready
7:30 Kids up, protein shake for Mommy, cold drink for the twins and diaper, Ava gets dressed
7:55 Out of the house, gotta go
8:15 Dropped off at Grammy's, Mommy goes to work*
8:45 - 3:45 Work*, run a few miles at lunch time, work*
4:00 Pick up kids
4:15 - 7:00 Play, cook dinner, play,  feed/water chickens, water plants, eat dinner, play (or bath), twins in bed
7:00 - 8:30 Ava time with Terrence and I - or just Terrence. I often workout, run, etc... then Ava to bed - Terrence and I take turns with her going to bed
8:45 - 10:00 I often write therapy notes, watch TV, blog, or drink wine - sometimes I do all at the same time
At 10:00 I crash...

* Let me clarify the word work - I play... all day. I run, jump, dance, hop, throw kids up and down, spin, blow bubbles, swing,  chase, play tag, and talk each session - mulitply that x6... I am an energizer bunny.


But that's a good day - now throw Marathon training into the mix and it looks like this


S#@^! 7:00 - 12:00 Wake up, fuel up, and run 18 miles
12:00 - 1:00 Try to eat, not cuss, and drink loads of drinks
1:00 - 1:01 Get on the scale and cry because running makes you gain weight once you have rehydrated; but then remember had I weighed post run without water, I might have lost 5 pounds
1:01 - 7:00 Chase children, try not to cry, try not to pass out, yell at the dogs, think about how much I hate running, think about how much I love running, cuss people who run marathons and get in naps, think about next week's long run,  eat again, hang out, put the twins down at 7:00 and breathe quietly for 7 seconds
7:00 - 8:30 Try not to pass out on Ava, spend time with Ava, cry to Ava about running, try not to cuss about running in front of Ava
8:45 - 10:00 Drink wine - stare blankly at the TV, mindlessly rant on FB about running, cuss running - then praise it for an hour or so
10:00 Crash

But, really things are alright! The Bumgarners are well - loving life - and living it up! Just how it was meant to be.

Marathon Feelings

Training for the marathon is intense - because you have to train -a lot. Sometimes twice a day, sometimes when you don't want to, and sometimes for long periods of time. It hurts. On my run today, an actual zen run, I thought about running - and why I did it. One of my favorite quotes is "If you want to change your body, exercise.  If you want to change your life, run." This is certainly true. Running changes lives. It is amazing to see people totally transformed from running - like extreme weight loss - or total confidence booster i.e., the young lady with mild cerebral palsy who is training for a marathon. We all do it for different reasons - and seriously, I took up running because I could not play any other sports. So at 14, I started running cross country and 18 years later I am training for a marathon. I love running. I never take off my "RUN" necklace, I wear a Boston-strong headband, and I have more dirty running clothes in my clothes hamper than regular clothing. When I started running, it was not a very popular sport. Now, you can find a 5K every weekend in your hometown.  With the popularity of color runs, light runs, obstacle courses, zombie runs, and running for God - more people are getting psyched up about my sport. When I started running, there were very few choices for running attire.  Now... I think - do I wear my green skirt, my blue skirt, or my black skirt? ... no, I think I will wear my purple dri-fit shorts with compression socks. AND Thank you, moisture wicking clothing. When I started running, there were few places to run in my hometown... now our Greenway is nearly 10 miles long. One downfall from then to now - then people weren't tech-crazed. What is UP with this i-Pod and Garmin craze? I hate i -Pods on outdoor runs, birds are too beautiful for that. Respect the robin, peeps.  And the Garmin - yes, I stopwatch - but I don't need the fancy-shmancy Garmin.  If you get lost on a 4 mile run, you are stupid... haha, just kidding, but let's get real . When I started running, people made fun of you for running... oh wait that has not changed. I still get called crazy, get asked "WHY?" and get the comment "If you ever see me running, I am being chased." My answer for that is... don't ask me why I do, ask yourself why you don't.


So why am I posting this? well, I am struggling with training. We are less than 9 weeks away from the Marathon and I am terrified. I know I can do it. I know I will finish - heck, I will crawl the last 3 miles if I have to, but I am scared. So I am trying to focus. Trying to remember, why I chose to do this. I chose to do this because I love to run. I chose to do this to do something others never will. I chose to do this because I can... Then my quote, I am the mother of three, I can do anything - resonated in my ear.  And here I am, blogging on such a boring subject - but yet I have to tell you... I have lost sleep, worried, gotten physically sick, yelled, cried, and panicked thinking about marathoning... so I had to blog. Get it all out - then pull it all together. So here I am, telling the world, about marathon training... please pray for my well-being as well as mental health! Don't try this at home kids... Love Carly <3

Cowgirl Up!

Ava started riding lessons today. She is taking those lessons at Spring Creek Farm.  Ms. Chassity, her riding instructor, is a barrel rider!  Ava was super excited and has not quit talking about horses since she turned 2, so now at 4, something had to be done!

Ava first had to groom her horse...

Then prep Cherokee for a ride...

 Selecting a saddle pad, a saddle, and attaching the girth...

 Once ready, she led him out.

She rode in style... did a few tricks... and made friends with Cherokee. He kept trying to kiss her. (I made friends with a mini-horse named Jellybean - I mean we are like BFF. She likes to lick my legs and chase me - but that's a different story)

 Then is was time to get off...

 Cherokee was led back to his stall...

Ava cleaned up.... and planned her next cowgirl adventure for next week! It was very exciting and we were so proud. Stay tuned! I will have more energy for writing soon!