Boo-hoo, She's a Working Mom

Time is officially up as I go back to work in the morning. I love my job and work with people who have, over the past two years, become my family.  I am also thankful I have a job that can provide income to my family as well as a job that helps so many families, puts a smile on my face, and teaches me more than I could ever learn in another position. However, I am sad.
One of my passions is speech pathology.  I went to school to be a speech pathologist and I really should be jumping up and down in my chair to get back into the swing of things: i.e., determining eligibility for the Infant-Toddler Program in addition to diagnosing speech and language disorders.  But, my other passion - no not running- is being a mom.  I feel rather torn. I am going to miss MY kids so much. Even though Easton whined from 3 a.m. until just an hour ago, Ava drove me crazy talking about ponies for 6 straight hours, and Elle stayed attached to my breast all day, I still want to spend every minute with them. Am I going to miss something? What is tomorrow going to be like? Will I be okay? Most definitely, but I know I will be sad. I am also scared.
I keep telling myself, you did this 3 years ago, without upset. Three years ago, my intern (Rebecca) started on the same day I came back, I had to start scheduling therapy sessions immediately (as I worked for the Public Schools at that time), and I had one itty bitty baby. It was fairly easy getting back into the swing of things. But now I have two itty bitty babies, an accommodating/family friendly/flexible job, and a 3 year old. I think it makes life even harder. I would still be out if I had more time accrued but being that I have had two pregnancies since 2008, I have accrued and maintained very little time with the state. And so is life. 
So I am going back in the morning, taking my breast pump, bringing pictures of the babies, and trying to remain strong. I think I will wear a dress and my big girl lipstick. The red one that Gisella and Lela love. We have a meeting first thing at 8:15, after coffee with the boss man and Lucy at 7:45. Then I will probably cry on Leigh's shoulder as well as complain and joke around she is my office mate and twin mommy/speech pathologist/most understanding friend ever in the world/bam, period, no question, the end. Then I will eventually cry to Cindy, Gisella and Cheryl, stalk Lucy, update Karen on the babies, talk to Kathy for a short bit, ask Natasha seven dozen questions, compliment Lela, and go to the fake beach with Donna. At some point it will be lunch. I will evaluate a child after lunch, smile, write up report findings while talking to Leigh, joke around with Laura, go see Teresa, talk to Doris, hope Joseph pops in, continue to stalk Lucy, and eventually pack my things up to go home. It is going to be okay. It will probably even be awesome. I can do this. I mean my gosh my current motto is, and I am proud to say this over and over again: I am a mother of 3 I can do anything!

3 kids and Mom on a Mission...

I never thought I would be so proud of myself for something so stupid... but alas, I am! Friday morning the kids, all three of them, were up and playing by 6:00 a.m. I was strangely awake, on my second cup of coffee, and itching to get out of the house. I consider myself a morning person, usually, but mornings since the birth of the twins have become rather difficult. In any case,  I knew we were out of diapers, close to out of wipes, wanting new toys, and I needed some chocolate like something fierce. What was the stupid decision I made? Well, I decided to go to Super-Walmart, in LENOIR! That is  25 minute drive, what?
I dressed all three kids, dressed myself, loaded them into the car, and headed out on our trip. Ava wanted food so we stopped at Bojangles on the way. Not my finest breakfast moment, but who doesn't like MSG-ridden-salty-as-heck fries now and again, plus I wanted a chicken biscuit. Shh don't tell anyone, I eat crap from time-to-time. After our stop, we got gas, and turned onto HWY 18. What a nice trip. Ava and I discussed My Little Pony, ate breakfast, and sang a couple of tunes that came on XM. We got to Lenoir during school hours, so traffic was busy. I was enthralled, it felt like real life again. We made it to the Walmart. I parked next to a cart return, and I grabbed a buggy. (Mothers of more than one kid, know the secret of parking next to cart returns). I put Easton in, then Elle, and crammed Ava into left over space. I told her she could put her feet on Elle if need be. We walked around Walmart for at least an hour, talking to all of the elderly women who were interested in twins, and picking up the necessities. I paid for our items, loaded the kids in the car, and navigated us out of the parking lot. We made it, without incident! Way to go Mommy and Bumgarner kids! We traveled home and Ava and I shared some M&Ms.  The twins got fussy about five miles from home, but we made it. I am so proud to get all 3 kids out and about - on my own! My mother said I was crazy for trying... and so many other people can't believe I can manage to get out of the bed much less care for three children... in WALMART no less.  But, honestly, I have to take the 3 kids places, alone, in the future. So why not start on 8/17/12, when the twins were 12 weeks and Ava was 3 years old. Makes the most sense to get as much practice as possible, right? Plus it was fun. Loads of fun! My kids are the best!

                                                              (Us at 6:00 a.m)

Our Life

People ask me all the time "how do you do it?" or "what's it like?"
Well being a mother of three is tough work. Simple things, like getting in  a car is taken for granted, until you have three kids. First I have to load two kids into infant carriers and carry them out to the car and then make Ava walk to the car (if she has found her shoes). I then open my door along with the back right and back left doors. Ava can get in the car and often can buckle herself into her carseat. Usually she is busy picking flowers at this time, and I have to raise my voice seven times to get her attention, "but Mommy, I was making you a bouquet," she says, to which I feel terrible. At this point I just take the flowers and put them in my cup holder for a number of days before they crumble into 3,000 little pieces that I notice swimming in liquid after the dog spills my coffee, by jumping into the car, a week later. In any case, back to the car situation. So Ava is in place, but what about the twins? Well, I have to climb into the back of the van with infant carrier 1 and lock the kid into place, get back out of the van and pick up infant carrier 2 to lock it into place - I can do this from outside the van. Finally I can get in my seat, unless I have to get Ava's bear, pry the dog out of the passenger seat, or check on a baby.  So this is one of my many scenarios, this takes five minutes of a 24 hour day. Get the picture? Life is complicated.
Our most recent schedule goes like this (and this is the perfect day):
5 a.m. -  Easton and Elle wake up to eat
6 a.m. - 9 a.m.  Both babies back to sleep
9 a.m. - 10 a.m.  Babies eat, Ava gets up, Ava eats, I might eat/drink a plant protein shake
10 a.m. - 12:30 p.m. - We all play, watch TV, travel out and about, etc.
12:30 p.m. - Lunchtime for all
1:00 p.m. - 3:00 p.m. - Babies fight sleep and eat, Ava goes off with Grammy, I watch 2 hours of recorded 48 Hours Mystery/Investigators/Dominic Dunne - kinds of shows
3:00 p.m. - 5:00 p.m. - Babies sleep, eat, or play, we wait for Terrence
5:00 p.m. - 7:00 p.m. - We try to get supper together, take turns with the kids, watch the news
7:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. - I RUN, Ava goes to bed, the Twins fight sleep/nap
8:00 - 10:00 p.m. - The twins eat, Mommy and Daddy enjoy wine
10:00 p.m. - ? - Everyone sleeps, hopefully all night... sometimes Elle wakes up at 3:00 a.m. for 15 minutes to eat and pass back out... Easton sleeps all night, unless he has a belly ache.

So we are operating on a fairly decent schedule that plays well with me going back to work - as early as next week, eek! I am praying to not go back until after Labor Day, just because I love the little ones so. But we will see.



So here is another fairly complicated thing, that you might take for granted. Eating a meal. Until last night it had been nearly 12 weeks since Terrence and I had eaten out. We have had one date about 6 weeks ago, prior to taking Ava to dinner last night. So it is hard to go anywhere, but eating normal meals is hard work too. I usually drink breakfast (Life's Basics has an expensive but tasty plant protein that fairs well with almond milk and a banana), I gulp down a quick lunch or not, grab a spoon of peanut butter here and there, and eat supper with 1 baby, two babies, not at all, or with Ava. Terrence and I don't eat together. Some days all I have to eat is a protein shake, two tablespoons of peanut butter, several cups of coffee (yes coffee is a food group), and two glasses of red wine (wine is also a food group). I can wear clothes from high school, to which I think, I might publish this diet, it is called the "have twins diet": in this diet you don't eat, drink lots of caffeine, drink alcohol, exercise when you can, and still lose weight. Amazing! But seriously, life is complicated at this point.
The Bumgarners are content and fairly happy now. We are working on establishing a schedule that we can all live and sustain for a number of years. At some point I hope to eat more, exercise more, spend more time with my dogs, and play with all three kids at the same time. I hope Terrence can get to a point where he doesn't sleep in the recliner during our adult time which is 8:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m. I think Terrence and I have done an amazing job with these kids. We have the perfect life. It is just a bit complicated, a tad crazy, and totally worth it!

Momo

They say the relationship between a boy and his dog is a strong one... Here's hoping Momo and Easton will be best friends for years to come.  

Let me tell the quick story of how Momo became a Bumgarner. I met Terrence in February of 2002. We married in February of 2007. By summer of 2007 I felt like something was missing. I had a lot of time to dwell on my loneliness as I worked for the schools then and didn't do private therapy at the time. Needless to say, I had tons of time during the day to myself. I started asking for a dog. Terrence got me a game for my gameboy "Nintendogs," to play with during the day. He told me if I did good with my Nintendog, he'd consider getting me a real one! Haha! 

The fall came, I went back to work and continued to dream about a puppy. At Christmas, we were told about a Miniature Schnauzer named Tinsel who was in need of a home. We discussed it and became super excited about bringing Tinsel Bumgarner home. For some reason I had to work late and Terrence had gone to pick up Tinsel when plans fell through. I had no idea that he wouldn't be bringing Tinsel home. He was devastated and made a quick decision. I got home from work around 7:30 and saw the cutest little dog sitting on Terrence's lap. I said "That's not a schnauzer, that's a yorkie! Like the one in my game!" Momo was tiny, he shivered and needed a coat, he loved to run, he liked car rides, he peed on everything, and he ate food piece by piece - he was everything I ever imagined! He weaseled his way into our bed that night. I didn't sleep. Over the years, Momo has become one of my best friends. As weird as that sounds, he enjoys things I enjoy and makes me tremendously happy. Our family has changed a lot since 2007, but one thing hasn't... that darn dog still sleeps in our bed!