Self-RUNflection

I had one of those days... one you cannot explain your irritation or anxiousness to leave work, but it is there... looming. So I changed into running clothes and decided to hit the trail.  Then I realized, unfortunately today was a speedwork day.   I needed a "zen" run! A run to think of nothing, ignore splits, not wear my watch, and breath with ease.  But nope, I did that Monday.  Of course, I am not training for a specific race, so it does not matter what I run.  But I try to do speedwork once a week, at least, sometimes twice, just to stay conditioned.  My problem is, this weekend I may run a 5K so I didn't want to have tired legs. I would love to PR (personal record time), so I needed to do speedwork mid-week to give my legs some rest time before Sunday's potential race.  Okay, so what does all this mumbojumbo mean? That speedwork is inevitable. Then, who started complaining about running? This gal. What's my deal? I love running, why was I complaining about something I adore?

So, I forced myself to get the warm-up in. I was planning on a tempo-run, but had aching legs, and got disheartened.  Those kind of aches that make you want to pack it up and call it a day... but being a runner, I ignored it, instead I yelled "WEAKLING" and punished myself for my weak thoughts. So I stretched some more at 1.5 miles into my run and decided I would torture my griping/complaining butt with hill-repeats.  No tempo... you get hills for being a whiner Carly. Haha!  I made myself do 10 x 100 yard hill-repeats with a 1 minute recovery jog down the hill. I got to number five easily.  At seven I nearly puked.  Then I think I had an epiphany/zen moment.  I smiled.  Hills 8, 9, and 10 were uplifting.  Life was wonderful and inspiring again. I realized by hill number 9 that this torture and pain signified what some wish they still could or wanted to do. I am blessed to be a runner, in fact it is a gift given to me from God, and I should cherish it.  Self-reflection is so important... quite possibly the most important training a runner completes and I am so good with that!