JOY

A few weeks ago I woke up tired.  My head was stuffy, I was sleepy, and I was cranky.  I'm not typically cranky or sleepy, although I certainly get tired and irritable at times.  Something felt out of place, wrong, too much, exhausting, daunting... when I looked at my time in a day and how much of it was spent doing things, it dawned on me, I wasn't doing things that brought me joy.  After Momo's passing, I filled my days with long runs, swims, and bikes.  I went to work, skipped lunch to hit the gym, came home to do mom things, then went back to the gym at night. I hit the bed tired and then woke up to do it again.  We ended up adopting a new dog, "him name George", "him perfect", "him a Labrador".  And things fell back in place.  My word JOY that I had selected to focus on this year, kinda started being the focus again.


George came bounding into our home and took over.  He fell in love with the Bumgarners at first sight. What happened was we went to adopt a dog at the Asheville Animal Clinic - making an appointment and everything - and it fell through.  The kids were so sad, so we ran by PetSmart just to see if any adoptions were taking place, and low and behold, there he was. Terrence saw George first then George and I locked eyes.  I knew he was our dog.  He knew he was a Bumgarner. The first night, he slept on top of me.  Yoshi was angry, but those emotions eventually lifted when Yoshi
realized George wasn't going anywhere.  Yoshi and George are now forging a friendship.  Yoshi is old, he's 15, and I wasn't sure he'd ever have pep in his step again ... but for some reason George is bringing it out in him. They love long walks and to growl at each other. I call it love.  I also see JOY in Yoshi that had left him for a bit. I totally get it.  George pulled joy back into our family. 


During this time, I just decided to take a break. I've scaled back on training to focus on happiness, family, and simply living better. My running has improved tremendously because I've focused on the love of running again.  George and I are running trails together and he's up to about 10 miles, which we do at a snail pace to stop and look at the flowers.  The kids are enjoying taking walks with Yoshi and George and just being outside.  I cried to Terrence about the triathlon, but it will be okay - I purged and it's behind me now.  Right now I have no goals.  I guess I'd love to say I raised money for a charity running again, so I'm looking into that option for the fall or possibly running with with someone with a visual impairment. It just seems so much more meaningful for me at this point and you know what, it's okay if I never train for a marathon again - I likely will - but I'm cool.


Where I'm at is finding JOY in life. There's so much out there from sunsets -to love - to vegans tacos and so much more!  I can run trails with my dog, run 5Ks with my daughters, and run as fast as I want with my running partner screaming as we run down mountains (that's the tentative plan for Friday afternoon).  Because I'm not stressed by training - I'm not held back by a plan...   I do want to continue cycling and of course I will swim the open water this summer.  It will give me time to be with my dad out on the lake - and just enjoy it.  Right now we are building a relationship with George.  All the Bumgarners are... and I know Momo is smiling down on all of this! That was the great plan.  And it's so JOYous.